Posted in Anxiety, Depression, Meditation

New Year Resolutions

There are so many memes on FB every year about not doing resolutions.  Some are funny and some are grouchy, but mostly they all have the theme that making new year’s resolutions is pointless, stupid, and a waste of time.

For people that feel this way, more power to you. I’m glad you are happy with yourself and your life – way to be awesome!  For me, I love the idea of new year’s resolutions because they feel like a new way to get life back on track or a good way to introduce some new, good habits into our lives.

I often make the same if not similar new year’s resolutions and I think they are pretty average and normal for a middle aged woman: eat healthier, exercise more (although this year it is dance more because dancing is fun and exercise is torture), meditate more during work days, and blog more.

I’m positive that those resolutions were on the 2018 list, too, in some form or another.  Clearly, last year I failed miserably at all of the above, but honestly, 2018 was a year where surviving was the main goal.  I dropped out of most of my activities because the social anxiety and depression made it too difficult to go out and about, and unless Will dragged me out, I barely did anything this year outside of family, work, and home.  My depression hit a new low, which was pretty miserable, so not dying seemed like the main thing I accomplished in 2018 and I’m ok with that.  Sometimes with invisible illnesses not dying is all you can do.

Since I successfully survived 2018, I can try to make 2019 a new, fantastic year.  As long as I am still alive, I have the chance to reinvent myself or at least attempt to make improvements.  Resolutions are simply focusing on those goals in order to try once again to grow and/or improve myself and my life.  And yes, most resolutions tend to fail, but I failed at quitting smoking the first million times I tried – eventually, if you keep trying you will succeed.

After 2016-2018, I’m no longer going to assume that 2019 is going to be a good year simply because the previous year was so rough.  Clearly, that is not a yardstick to measure by during the Trump regime, but I am hoping that even if the year itself is not better that I can be better.  I can be the version of myself that focuses on living life well instead of merely surviving it.

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