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Corn for the Squirrels, Chaos Muppet Strikes Again

Will has pretty much determined that I am the chaos muppet in our relationship.  I would argue, but he is right.

Once upon a time, I bought a bag of corn to feed the squirrels.  I would take out an ear and throw it into the front yard.  Will had a very nice green metal corn holding device in the trees for this purpose, but I am short and cannot reach it.  So I just chuck the corn out into the front yard.

This summer/fall, I noticed that we had an unusual amount of tiny moths in the house.  Most of the poor little moths ended up being cat food.  Joey lost weight he chased so many moths and ate them.  Apparently, they are low in calories.  The moths were seriously annoying (why would a tiny creature just insist on flying up someone’s nose?) and I had no idea where they came from.  Will eventually discovered this forgotten bag of squirrel corn.  Did you know that moths can apparently emerge from kernels of corn?  The corn had these little holes in it and the bag was full of moths.  The bag then went outside where the moths could be free and our house could be less mothy.

Well, I bought the corn and I forgot about the corn and Will brought order to the world through discovering the moths breeding ground.  The rest of this corn I would chuck out into the front yard, to Will’s annoyance, about once or twice a day.  The squirrels when we lived in Carbondale are these huge, fat red squirrels.  The squirrels in Murphysboro are grey, tiny, and more than a bit stupid.  I feel sorry for them, so I feed them.

Will was telling me today that he cleaned out a portion of the gutter.  Guess what he found causing the blockage?  If you guessed corn cobs, you guessed right.  The squirrels apparently make off with the corn, eat it on our roof and then chuck it in the gutters.  Will inferred that this was due to chaos muppet-y-ness on my part.

I laughed and laughed and laughed when he told me this.  It drives him crazy that I just chuck the corn into the yard.  The moths really drove him crazy and now the gutters (that I am not going to be cleaning) have corn cobs in them.  If I wanted to plan the perfect, long running gag to annoy Will, I couldn’t have planned it better.

One thought on “Corn for the Squirrels, Chaos Muppet Strikes Again

  1. Please be careful, because feeding squirrels can lead to heart break, and loss *Sniff* The squirrel I was feeding & a friend broke into our cabin after the food tray got empty. I found him with his little paw pressed up against the glass patio door – freedom, so close and yet …. so far.


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