One of the movies of my youth, “A League of Their Own”, has a very annoyed Tom Hanks telling one of the female baseball players, “There’s no crying in baseball!” I would like to say that there is no crying in Crossfit – it has a nice ring to it, but for second time in a year, I had a difficult time not crying in a WoD.
The first time I cried during a Crossfit workout was on the first year anniversary of my father’s death. I was determined to be fine that day, but after running laps (there seemed to be an endless number of them) I just started crying uncontrollably. I am running and crying, probably looking ridiculous, feeling even more ridiculous. My trainer was ready to just let me out of the WoD at this point, as I was crying and taking forever as running is not my strong suit, but luckily, Will – who knows my mental make up better than anyone – said that he should let me finish the WoD. After all, the only thing worse than crying in front of people during a WoD would be if that meant I was unable to finish to a WoD. Crying in front of people + not finishing = ruined day.
Yesterday’s crying had no reason to it, which is why it was weird. We did two WoD’s, and the running laps as the exception, they were pretty fun ones. I kind of felt like I was slow and lethargic, but that has been the week of working out for me. I can only hope that next week is better, as lethargy is not something I want to bring to my workouts. The second WoD is one I should have rocked the socks off of – 200 jump ropes and 200 sit-ups – two things I am actually really good at. The jump ropes were pretty easy, although I can normally do over a 100 before I trip myself up, and I tripped myself up a few more times than usual, but I figured I was tired from the previous WoD. The sit-ups were just torturous. By the time I hit 75, I was struggling to keep my composure the entire way. I simply was not going to cry through one of my favorite exercises.
I tried to concentrate on not letting Will beat me in time on this WoD. I am better at jump ropes and sit-ups and he had kicked my ass in the previous WoD. This worked to get me through to 150. After that, it was mainly me focusing on math to keep from crying.
I finished the WoD (ahead of Will, ha!), put my abmat away, and went outside and just cried. It felt more like release crying rather than sad crying, but it was just weird and annoying. The one saving grace was no one was in the parking lot, so I was able to feel the breeze on my face, watch the many birds that seem to live in the parking lot, and cry enough that whatever was needing to be released got the hell out, and regain my composure. I was left kind of feeling hollow, but not in a bad way. Just like something that needed to move on finally did so. Hopefully, I cried out the feelings of lethargy of the week.
I was left feeling like the best thing in the world would be some booze (Will thought I said boobs, so obviously next time I am going to call it “hooch” just to see what happens), but opted out of that impulse as well. I am on day 6 of no sugar or carbs not found in fruits or veggies (i.e. no bread, potatoes, rice, crackers, chips, etc.), and I do not want to mess that up with alcohol at this stage of the game.
Because I am a nerd, I then spent time researching crying after WoDs online. I am not alone in this apparently, although most of the tears I read about seemed born more of frustration there were quite a number that were just releases like mine was.
But still. Super weird. This exercise thing is a whole new world of experiences I am unfamiliar with. I am getting familiar with them, though, and I like new experiences. I am just hoping most of them will be tear free, because man, I hate crying.